There are these moments in our lives that completely define us. I think I've had more than a few. It would be so easy in all of this to forget who I am. In the midst of this stress and pain and struggle and change, to forget where my heart is. It would be easy to get lost in all the losing and lost in the battle. I'm slowly finding myself here, in this place. I'm believing in bigger and better things, in dreams and smiles. Believing that pain doesn't last and at the end of struggle is victory. My heart is both heavy and light.
I was walking home tonight in the pitch black, and memories flooded my mind. Things were so small, so simple, so different. There was such an innocence, not by lack of guilt, but more of an absence of pain. There were moments when I was so alive, and I'm feeling that again. I've felt it swelling for a while.
We choose to fight our battles. There are certain things out of our control. I think once you realize this things get so much easier, so much more innocent. You love without regard and hurt in the midst of forgiveness. I'm somewhere in there.
(I love song lyrics. I really do...tonight, I heard these two songs and these struck something...)
"And I never been so alone, and Ive never been so alive."
"If you're gonna fall, I'll let you know that I will pick you up, like you for I. I felt this thing I can't replace, where everyone was working for this goal..."