I'm sitting out on my porch. Staring out at the ocean. There's something unsettling about being surrounded by the sea. Even so, there's something peaceful about the way the moon shatters the darkness and is reflected across the waves. I wrote this before, and it means more tonight:

I'm starting to believe the ocean is much like You. Rolling, thunderous and scary as hell. Constantly moving and filled with depth and death and life that I will never comprehend. Sometimes Your clouds cover you, only allowing slivers of the bright moon to shine through, then just like that You are filled with rage and nothing is to be seen. But You are there, somewhere.

My head hurts, my heart is tired. My legs even more so. Yet, there's something serene about this. There have been so many things I have not had space to think about, and last night I had the chance. I can't help but wonder if there is a bigger story being written that I am only slightly aware of. Sure, I would have probably chosen a few chapters (this one) differently, but my hopes are that the end result is the same. In that case, I know it will be more beautiful than ever. And, this is only a season, right? That's what I keep telling myself. My nights have gotten shorter, and I want my days to last as long as they can.

I find comfort in the fact that as the moon falls on me, the same moon is singing to you as you sleep. Somehow that makes the distance seem a lot smaller. Amazing how a beating heart can still be felt across the distant sea.

There's a song by Rachael Yamagata and Ray Lamontagne (two of my favs), I'll lay my head to rest with a lyric from it:

Duet
Oh,lover, I know
You’ll be out there and be thinking just of me
I will find you down the road
And we’ll return back home to where we’re meant to be
'Cause I remember what we said
As we lay down to bed
We’ll be back as soon as we make history...