Tonight, a friend said to me "enjoy your life right now, because the real world sucks."
I don't know if I will ever live in that REAL world. I never have. I've straddled the fringe and my outlook is jaded. Life is amazing. It always has been, and I'm hoping my streak can continue.
I sound ridiculous, I know I do. I've had my share of pain, my tears have fallen on the same ground yours have. Trust me. I have felt the weight of a broken heart, the emptiness of loss, and the piercing questions of abandonment and rejection. It hurts. But I still woke up the next day. Even if I couldn't get out of bed, I still awoke to a new day where the sun was beaming through my window and opening my eyes to the splendor of the "real world." I awoke and if anything, at the least I could feel.
I learned early on life is an adventure. Whether that was in the streets of Detroit, it was still an adventure to sleep in a hotel. Who else gets to say the LIVED and SLEPT in a hotel for a long period of time? When we packed up and moved to Florida, I learned it was an adventure. I got to meet new people and now I could never go back.
I hope I never discover what the real world is. That sounds so naive, but I really do. I hope to meet others in their pain and bring them to a place they can only find in their dreams. I'm a dreamer. I dream big. Probably too large. Oh well. I heard today that if your dreams are attainable in your lifetime, they aren't big enough.
One day we can live in a penthouse in new york city. we can have big dinners, and pour our own wine. we can sip our coffee and laugh until the night comes,and then when it comes lay on the rooftop watching the sounds of the city drown out your breathing. we can play dress up, you can wear your favorite dress, and I will wear my tuxedo, and we can call each other funny names. we can talk with european accents and gossip about the stars and celebrities. we can eat at the little indian carts on the corner, devouring falafel's until we can't stand the site of them. we can go out in the rain, with no umbrella and walk in the park with worn out shoes. we can watch the stars fall from the sky and place them in our pockets and use them when we can't see each other in the dark of night. I can make fun of the way your nose twitches when you talk, or the way you squint your eyes when you laugh sometimes. we can invite all of our friends over and they can tell their friends and then we can probably have some strangers too and cook pancakes and talk of what might have been and what is becoming and what will be and what has become of this. this being us and them. we can live as kings and dance in bars where nobody knows our names.
Real world? Nah. But it will be one day.
....
Your smile is beautiful. And so are you. I'll see you in my dreams.